The Woes Of A Tamil Man

Why have I never chronicled what Tamil means to me?
Is it because my subconscious finally accepts that it’s as casually a part my life as eating and breathing are?

When I moved back to Chennai, I had a very conscious discussion with myself towards having to adopt communicating, nay, thinking and feeling in Tamil if it mean I have to forge relationships in this city. Today, I associate it with home. About as much as I’ve associated any city with home. Sometimes I still feel like an outsider. No extent of my knowledge of the language can overcome some barriers Tamil speakers erect against me.

Sometimes I’m at a loss for how to react when someone who need not hold a conversation with me does so. Out of habit, perhaps? Or out of false obligation, so I might vacate the premises and leave him to his own predicament, as was earlier status quo?

Sometimes it’s helped me navigate a situation more fluidly than I could’ve with the most expressive and articulate English. Sometimes it’s made me realize I’m laughing at something I shouldn’t think is funny. Sometimes it’s had me in the presence of music and poetry that I want to translate into English and shout from atop the tallest building; so everyone can listen to and interpret the secret of the Universe I’ve just been privy to. But then, to my dismay I realize that a translation would be, just that. A translation. Not the secret itself. Or its possible meanings.

But I’m older now. I see things like I did not see them before. An adornment of love in Tamil is so much more than what similar words in English will ever achieve, for someone like me. My inner conflict of hypocrisy cringes at this point, because I’ve spent the entirety of my life thinking no language can quite come close conveying what I can with my English vocab. But like I said, I’m an older man now. Mani Ratnam's idea of romance with AR Rahman's soundtrack can only be transferred whisper to ear, pillow to pillow, Tamil to Tamil.

En vaazhvum en saavum, un kannin asaivilae

My life and my death, in the swaying of your eyes.

Or when I listen to a song by Kurangan, when he says

Nee kanumbodhu, nee karnghzirai endru kaanum, andha nee yaar?

Andha unakku enna peru?

Andha unakku endha ooru?

Andha nee kooradha aasaigal enn enna?

I've made multiple attempts and writing the above sonnet in English. But then I realize that the English version doesn't sound like my mother screaming at me in Tamil from across the hall, it doesn't sound like the man carrying a water can up multiple flights of stairs asking for space, or like a vendor who assures you that the cauliflower on his push-cart is what you need to be cooking tonight. I realize that when I translate Tamil sentences from inside my head, there is nothing of me left in them. And that realization affects me more now than it ever has before.

There was a point in my life where any conversation in a language other than English, was a result of a micro translation in my head. Self-awareness of the ability to switch my language of thought is liberating!

In some ways, perhaps owing to being able to hold conversations in three languages, there are shades of myself that exist only in that particular language. And their complexity and meaning intensify with periods of time. Be it periods when I'm active in that language or not.


_____________________________________________________________ Now Reading : Sapiens - A Brief History of Humankind - Yuval Noah Harari
Now Listening : No - Nicolas Jaar

13th December, 2013

If this blog were a bookshelf, I would be buried in its dust.
I wonder if it counts as intentional oversight or if my laziness has just transcended to a whole new level.

I spent the whole day revisiting my old PS2 games and Scrabble game with the mother.

I wish I could put into words how lost all this makes me feel. In my never-ending search for meaning in everything, I have only been shown further confusion.

I cannot even think of a title for this post.
100% rant, is all this is.
Perhaps some unease thrown into it.

My reading list on blogger had more than 20 blogs frequently updated. Bursting with stories.
Apart from a couple, the others are defunct.
I blame Twitter, really.
Words have more meaning and power than is felt and expressed by 140 characters.


I have no words left for tonight. Like I said, the bookshelf had to be tidied.





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V

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Now Reading  :  http://www.theverge.com/2013/12/6/5126856/whats-in-your-bag-katie-drummond
Now Listening : Dreams Money Can Buy - Drake , Feel Good - Emil Berliner
Now Feeling : The onset of a sneeze.

Have Some KitKat

Another update on the phone front. 

I have highly anticipated the release of Android 4.4 KitKat but to my slight frustration, phones like the Moto X got their OTA before my Nexus 4, which I think was a little unfair. 

But all that aside, its here, and it is beautiful. The changes appear to be subtle but are pretty immense once you're trying to settle into the ecosystem. That calm blue colour highlighting associated with Android since ICS all the way to JellyBean 4.3 is replaced with this super cool, straight out of sci-fi white.

The dialler app is one trippy motherfucker right now and its also got its own TrueCaller like implementation, so it searches for business' numbers if you're calling any.

That being said, my favourite feature, by far of the 4.4 update, is how the lockscreen shows full size album art of whatever is playing..

But the main feature of 4.4 that I have been drooling over since the pre-release photo of the Nexus 5 were the transparent navigation an notification bars.

Although, as I learned today, the swipe left on the homescreen to launch Google Now and the transparent bars are exclusive to the Nexus 5. 

I have a feeling this feature will probably roll out on future iterations and even if thats not true its only going to take Nova Prime a little while to get it. (In case you didn't know, you can sign up for a Nova Launcher Beta, install the .apk file over your existing Nova Launcher to take advantage of the transparent bars feature )

Now you may notice that my screen shot shows transparent notification and navigation bars. What is this sorcery, you might ask.


Well, take your lazy fingers to Google and search for an article that Android Police wrote about how they too were disappointed that the transparency is a Nexus 5 exclusive.
So they did something pretty impressive. They took out the Google Experience Laucher (thats what the stock launcher is called on the N5) and basically installed that apk on any other device running KitKat.

So far, the only compatibility issues are a non-centered Google search bar and I think that happens only on Nexus 7s

Feel free to leave a line, if you need some help

-

V

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Now Listening : Retrograde - James Blake
Now Reading : The Design of the UNIX Operating System - Maurice J Bach

Now Feeling : A little annoyed

Android Homescreen Update (29/8/13)

I've lost track of what I've written, what I've meant to write and what, I shall probably, never write.
I think mere sentiment is what keeps me from abandoning the blog. And this.


In my opinion, I think I've gone more minimal than the last time.

Lockscreen :

Swipe to the left for Google Keep and what you see by default is a widget called Dash Clock. Brilliant stuff.


Homescreens:

I've never really liked the wallpaper to scroll along with my homescreen and that is why you will find that I have not used the whole image for the wallpaper.

I fell in love with these icons which come as a pack along with some minimalist wallpapers in an app Stark Icon Pack.
Just so beautiful.
Almost all the apps I have seem to have a replacement icon in this app, and if that's not saying something then I don't know what is.

Also, I seem to have found the perfect dock icons so I haven't really changed anything there. You'll find that an icon for opening the app drawer is missing. But these icons seem to look better as a line of 4, so I decided to do away with it and use a Nova Launcher Prime gesture for it. Swiping up anywhere on the screen opens the app drawer. And this is something I first saw implemented in Adnan's phone.

The 2nd homescreen is also merely the same. I have found the perfect 4 folders to classify my most used apps in. And to not flip out on the symmetry I had to remove an icon in the 2nd dock.
So I decided to let go of the People shortcut seeing as how Android 4.3 allows T9 access via the dialler to contacts.

I'm still of 2 minds on the wallpaper. Because I think the icons steal the show and I don't really know if the wallpaper lives up to that.

No major app additions except maybe Mighty Text which is an inaccessible app on the phone and pairs with a Chrome extension on your browser so I can type and view texts on the computer. It also happens to flash useful information like when someone is calling or the battery percentage as of the last refresh.
Very handy.


As ever, questions and any queries are welcome.



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Now Reading :  The Ocean at the End of the Lane - Neil Gaiman
Now Listening : Third Eye - Tool
Now Feeling : Distant

Sun and Clouds

Okay, here goes.
This is going to be an unconventional post.
Usually with my desktop wallpapers, I take a screenshot and post it on Facebook. And the caption would carry any extra details, if required.
But creating an Android homescreen, as I've learnt, requires more effort and the beauty is better understood only upon further explanation.
Im currently working on a new homescreen so I figured I'd give the current one a decent goodbye. And also keep the blog alive.
Speaking of goodbyes, the merc leaves tomorrow. I shall miss that car.


Lockscreen :

Home screens :

The lock screen is pretty simple actually. What you see is what you get.
Time and date widget made using Minimalistic Text.


The home screen gets slightly more elaborate.
Im running Nova Prime and its a 5x4 grid and a 7 icon dock.
The clock is a widget called BobClock and I think it looks brillaint. There are 2 more single icon widgets to display the weather and remaining battery percentage.
"Write It Down" is a horizontal widget again that opens Google Keep.

All the dock icons except the nexus logo (which is the icon replacement for the app drawer) have a gesture to open a different app.
Swiping up on the phone opens the camera.
Text messages and Whatsapp
Chrome and Facebook app
Play Music and Gallery

The second screen illustrates this need for a homescreen that contains all the apps I frequently use and I seldom open the app drawer.
4 folders to classify my frequent apps and 4 individual apps that I felt add an aesthetic appeal and don't really fall into a category.

The dock also has 2 rows and the 2nd row as shown in the 2nd screen houses some more frequently used apps and their positions are also based on their frequency of use.
I usually check my mail one-handed and the left corner is easy to reach with my right hand.
Maps are accessed when the phone is being handled with both hands and falls to the right.
And when I open Play Store Im usually seated very comfortably with the phone in landscape mode and the center is easiest to access.

Swiping down from anywhere on any screen opens the notifications pane and that really saves some time from having to drag it down from the top every time.

Being my first attempt at a home screen, things do seem a little crude now but I think its a fair attempt.

Drop me a line if you require the particulars of any app or want any other details/assistance.


Later.



-
V

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Now Reading : Anansi Boys - Neil Gaiman
Now Listening : Chained - Yves V