Alive and Awake

Hullo,
This time I'm going to deviate from the commonplace and describe a few days and not an entire month.
This note is not about what I aspire this month to be and neither is it about the month ( or whatever portion of it ) that has transpired.

This note is about one (maybe two) relatively perfect days. My past months have either passed in indifference disguised as sleep or disappointment aggravated by exams. But the past two days I have woken up and NOT thought about the periods in which I can sleep in or what tuition lies ahead of me. These 2 days I actually have brushed with my mind and not let the toothbrush brush while my mind wanders off. And believe me, I enjoy it. The mundane things that I do every day with a million bloody things in my mind, these 2 days I did them like I was driving a car. Life...seemed simpler.

Which brings me to my theory that things are only as complicated as you think they are.

I can give you my word that I haven't slept in any period these days and I have taken down notes and understood. This, in all probability, a consequence of the excess sleep I've been getting. But there are 3 words that describe my mind and my life in general in these 2 days ;

Order of Disorder

An order has emerged these past two days out of nowhere merely because I was more awake than I was alive. More interested than I was incomplete.


All these days, I've been alive but occupied somewhere else, attentive but not at what lies in front of me but at what lies beyond me. I have been impervious to the perfect things happening in my life, from that exact arrangement of periods giving me time to complete everything and still go have that heavenly orange ice-cream. Or the fact that nearly everyday my school is lightened up by beautiful faces. Or even the lovely weather (in the eves, not the afternoons, definitely NOT them!)

But to spoil the rhythm that I ever so slowly captured, I hope disorder returns because life is far more fun then.


But I will tell you this,
The past two days have proven enough to put me into writing mode.


And now,
Off to Sleep, only to be Awake again,
V


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Now Listening : If I Were You - Hoobastank
Shine On - R.I.O


Now Reading : C++ : Function Overloading


Now Watching : A regular supply of movies and HIMYM episodes thanks to Big Man.



PS: I wrote this from my NEW laptop! ( Sorry, couldn't resist.)

The Window That Woke Me Up

Let me begin by wishing anyone reading this a Happy New Year. Its young, new so go own. And if you don't then chill.. Cuz there's one more coming up. (Some optimistic bullshit I got in a text.)

I'm writing this in Comp period and Venky is like..two desks away from me, sleeping (who could have guessed that?)

Speaking of sleeping, I woke up a few nights back, early-morning or late-night, I don't remember and I saw this light shining outside my window. A light that looked almost Heavenly
You must understand that I was insanely sleepy and there's a big chance all this was a dream.
But I was up and decided not to go back to bes anytime soon. So I pressed play to my favourite song and I drew the curtain to see what Heaven looked like..
Obviously enough, the neighbour's backyard lights were on. "Go back to sleep", I said to myself. But I didn't. I stopped the song and stared out of the window and into the black sky illuminated by the Moon for the longest time I have stared at the skies. Got me thinking.

16 years on, will I still look out of the window with the same thoughts running through my mind and with the same mentality?
Will I be alive then, for starters?
Will my house be better than whatever lay outside?
Will there be friends visible through that window?
Will there be someone puling me back to bed and ask me to stare at her instead of outside?
Will I have regrets then?
Will I have something to look forward to out of the window?

Thats a Lot of questions for someone that sleepy you might say. But my brain was in Drive gear and it gave me a hell lot more questions than the ones I've posted here.

Life is bloody uncertain and I'm not sure if I like it that way..
For all I know an uncertain life may be the most rewarding, most exciting or maybe even the most boring. And I also don't know if this incident is just some Emotional Attyachar caused by my marks or its something way deeper.

But I know this for sure.
I will never look out of any Window the same way.
Or Will I?

Till the next bump on the road,
V

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Now Listening : To Anuradha speak of binary, octal and hexadecimal.
Now Reading: Between the lines.
Now Drooling Over: The Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG and the Harley-Davidson Nightrod Special.